Antidepressants seem rather common, which is not a surprise. The antidepressant market share is only estimated to grow. In fact, the highest consumers of such drugs are mainly European countries. I was on antidepressants for years and now I have been off for almost 3 years. Through my experiences I can say I do not recommend antidepressants to anyone and here’s why I wouldn’t take them again.
Getting antidepressants is quick and easy
I can only speak for my personal experiences in two countries. In both countries, getting antidepressants was simple. I had my first meeting with a psychiatric in a new health care center where I had never been treated before. This fact is important to mention because the health care center didn’t have any information about me. However, the psychiatric managed to write me a prescription for antidepressants within 30 minutes of the session. I have always journaled in English, so this is what I wrote that day; “The psychiatrist told me I have depression, and helped me recognise which of my behaviours are connected to depression. These behaviours were; controlling my eating or not wanting to eat, feeling low, stressing out about the future, waking up easily and so on“. Now looking back, I’m shocked this said psychiatrist didn’t ask more question about my relationship with food.
The same happened in the other country, but this time I was already on medication. This country, however, started prescribing higher doses and I listened even thought I felt like I didn’t need higher doses.
You on antidepressants
My main problem was myself. Yes the antidepressants helped me to cancel suicidal and negative thoughts but at the same time it shut down everything. I didn’t feel sad, happy, or excited. I was numb without realising it. I wish I would have seen that sooner but it was only after I got off my medication.
Getting off the medication isn’t recommended
Worth to mention, I got off the medication on my own and with the support of my boyfriend. Getting off the medication was never recommended and I was told not to do it, instead increase the dosage again. I cut connection with my GP and did my own research to slowly get off the medication.
Going back to my journaling during this time, I was moody; angry, sad, happy..everything. This makes sense and it’s said to be normal. I think the hardest part was that I was suddenly having these UPS and absolute DOWNS. Other than uncontrollable emotions, I did write down experiencing dizziness, which I can’t remember vividly.
You off antidepressants
Now I’m happy to say I do not use medications. I’m feeling it all again, but I would rather get ups and downs than the weird numbness. During the process of getting of the medication, I journaled; “This morning I even felt true happiness. I do not get that feeling too often“. And no, I’m not suddenly the happiest person alive – I’m able to recognise, feel and understand my problems and work on myself; work on what I’m truly feeling.