Countless battles with myself, insecurities, stress and relearning; I have finally gained something I want to hold on to. In fact I have gained weight but what did I tell myself? – “I have gained…health?” And that was an amazing feeling. I’m still in the battle field with my mind and these past days have been harder, especially my body image. So I thought the best I can do is to write what I have gained from eating properly and exercising according to how I feel.
I have gained my periods
Now I don’t want to get ahead of myself but I have had two cycles. I have felt amazing about it! This means I’m doing this right and my body is getting enough energy.
I have gained strength
Not only can I lift heavier at the gym, but I can push myself and get through a whole workout without getting absolutely drained. I’m not thinking about what to eat during my workout, nor am I dizzy after. I feel stronger and energised.
Of course this has meant I try to listen to my body. I have taken more rest days when I felt like it. Sometimes taking two rest days has caused enormous amount of stress, but I have quickly realised I can keep having amazing workouts when I rest when my body needs it.
I have gained skills
One new habit of mine has been cooking by following recipes. This has helped me to cook great meals and also eat complete and balanced meals; and proper portions.
I have gained focus
I’m more aware of my body when it comes to hunger, tiredness, emotions and so on. I also have more energy during the day; even after an intense workout. I don’t have to rely on coffee to push me through the day or tasks.
I have gained shapes
I don’t want to focus on my looks too much, but I would lie if I said I wouldn’t be happy about a bit more shapes; my legs, hips and so on. It does look healthier but this is extremely hard topic for me as I’m still learning to appreciate and accept my looks.
Things that are still happening
It’s not all that amazing all the time and I want to be aware of that too.
- Bad body image days, insecurities, feeling too heavy
- Restrictive thoughts and sometimes actions
- Questioning if I’m moving my body enough
- Having hard time taking rest days
- Discomfort – it’s uncomfortable to eat more after restricting for very long. It’s necessary to eat even when you are not hungry, and that can get uncomfortable; bloating, stomach pain etc.