I could say moving to a new country caused weight loss or different food in this country caused my hair to fall. But it’s a lie. I have great books and I have been reading more lately. I’m saying this because I believe these books (and combination of other things) have helped me to face the facts; what really happened in 2021/2022.
Before moving overseas (alone) in 2021, I had an amazing trip with my boyfriend. I was also eating more and I started going to the gym, prior to the trip. I had gained weight. I was distracted during the amazing trip and time I had over the summer, but deep down I didn’t feel the best in my body. So what happened once I arrived in the new country?
I have to admit. During the trip, I knew I would be alone soon. And I knew this would mean I can eat how I wanted to. My first thought was to “just lose 2kgs”. Needless to say, I quickly lost control and direction. I was too focused on calories, exercising and worried about gaining weight.
At the time, I didn’t see it. I didn’t believe the scale and I definitely didn’t look skinnier in my opinion. So I thought everything was fine. I lost my periods, but this didn’t worry me. I had lost them for a few months before but never for this long (still didn’t bother me). Then I flew back to stay with my boyfriend for awhile. I still didn’t see what was wrong. I started eating a bit more while staying with my boyfriend. After some months I started losing my hair and that was the first time I thought this isn’t normal. But it still took me months to see how skinny I was that time. Actually it wasn’t till almost a year later I understood how bad I got that time.
Now I’m doing better, not always, but most of the days. I hate what I did to myself and the fact that losing a lot of weight rapidly caused my hair to fall and I lost my periods; two things I’m still trying to fix. The clear message to myself is that it’s never “just 2kgs” and it has never gone right when I let my mind take over.