Lately my mind has been busier than usual, I even went through a moment where I felt like giving up. I felt done trying and I had a small step back. It made me think of stages that I’m going through, sometimes I even jump back one or two steps. From the moment of giving up till now, I think I went through these stages again. Writing down the stages has made me more aware of myself, so I want to share them. So here are my five stages I’m going through while trying to recover and maintain a healthy body.
1. Denial
This is a starting point. I have felt this after seeing a nutritionist or a doctor, and many times after talking to my boyfriend about my eating habits. My denial stage tells me I don’t have to gain weight and I tell myself there’s nothing wrong with my eating or exercise habits.
2. Anger
After denial, I’m mad at myself for getting to a certain point and I mad about what I will have to do to recover from it. It doesn’t feel fair and I’m angry at myself for what I have done.
3. Bargaining
This is the part where things could go better, but they don’t. I could be fully committed, but I’m not. Now that I think about it, it feels like I’m bargaining with myself; maybe I just eat a little more or maybe I just put on a little bit of weight but that’s it. I might include one snack but keep other meals the same or I focus on fixing one bad habit but keep the rest.
4. Discomfort
I hate this part, and I hate to say I have gone through this one a few times. Here I feel uncomfortable in my body, I might not like the way I look anymore and I feel like I’m losing control. Often it gets to feeling of “I can’t do this anymore”, the very moment that inspired me to write this.
5. Acceptance
This sounds like a great stage to be at. A few times I have felt like giving myself the freedom to eat what my body wanted and I have been so stress free around food. At this stage I might have bad body image days but I accept that and can move on. This is the stage where I’m at peace with food and my body. It’s great.