“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn\u2019t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” \u2014 Louise Hay<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It has been a long journey, one that I now feel has come to an end. I am at peace with myself. And how do I know this?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I used to be afraid of gaining weight, even just a few grams. I was terrified of what would happen if I gained 2 kg or if my weight exceeded a certain number. I went back and forth for years; I gained a little, then lost even more. It was a never-ending cycle. My weight determined how I felt about myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But something happened last April. I simply said (and even wrote it down), “I don\u2019t want to live with this anymore,”<\/em> and I asked myself an important question:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Who am I without my eating disorder?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I’m finally myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n How do I know I\u2019ve learned to live with the eating disorder side of my mind? Because the number doesn’t control me anymore. I hadn’t checked my weight since last April and recently, I had a health check where I knew they would weigh me. I had no idea what to expect. Honestly, I didn\u2019t think about it much, but I was a little worried; worried that seeing the number on the scale might trigger me, pulling me back into that old mindset and those habits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But guess what? It didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I saw the number on the scale, 7 kg more than my last check, and I thought to myself, “I don\u2019t care.”<\/em> And I haven\u2019t cared since.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That voice in my mind isn\u2019t gone, and I don\u2019t think it ever will be. It still tells me to eat less, to exercise more. But the person I am now is stronger. I know how to live with it without getting lost in it again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It was never about erasing this part of me or leaving it behind. It was about learning to live with it, and moving forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A final reminder – the people around you are crucial never take them for granted. I wouldn’t be here without the people involved in my story. I’m forever grateful to the person who heard my full story, to my mom, my brother, my best friend, and my grandfather.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" “You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn\u2019t worked. Try approving of yourself […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":366,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-365","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-thoughts"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/13reasonsynot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/365"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/13reasonsynot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/13reasonsynot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/13reasonsynot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/13reasonsynot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=365"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/13reasonsynot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/365\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":367,"href":"https:\/\/13reasonsynot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/365\/revisions\/367"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/13reasonsynot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/366"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/13reasonsynot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=365"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/13reasonsynot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=365"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/13reasonsynot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=365"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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