This hasn’t always been obvious to me. I have discovered a lot by reading great books, observing my behaviours and talking to someone about my struggles. Now I can understand what I really meant when I said something during the times I wasn’t ok.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I said “I feel fat”, what I really wanted to communicate was<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I don’t like my body”<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n “I feel less worthy” and<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n “what I see in the mirror makes me uncomfortable (I feel too heavy)”<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Restrictive eating hasn’t been about fat. I danced ballet for many years and those times I remember saying just that. However, I was never overweight but I was taller than everyone else and THAT made me feel heavier. I also didn’t fit the perfect skinny ballerina frame, my hips were too wide and THAT made me feel less worthy. Things were piling up from a young age – weird obsession over my weight, being hard on myself when it came to performance (sports, school, anything really), and always comparing myself to others. Social media became a thing while I was growing up and I can remember using Instagram since 2012. Being “fat” has been and still is associated with something negative and something you definitely don’t want to be. Not to mention various weight loss tricks, products and diets advertised everywhere. I think these all influenced wording and phrases I used to describe myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I have often said “I feel fat” around my boyfriend and now that I look back at those moments, I wish I would have said one of those 3 things I really meant and was feeling. Maybe he would have understood me better – it was never about body fat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ps. I do see you here! Weird to see a group of people reading through my website – thank you!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" This hasn’t always been obvious to me. I have discovered a lot by reading great […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":251,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-250","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-thoughts"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/13reasonsynot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/250"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/13reasonsynot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/13reasonsynot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/13reasonsynot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/13reasonsynot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=250"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/13reasonsynot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/250\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":257,"href":"https:\/\/13reasonsynot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/250\/revisions\/257"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/13reasonsynot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/251"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/13reasonsynot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=250"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/13reasonsynot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=250"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/13reasonsynot.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=250"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}